The last good bye

Assalamualaikum. Peace and blessings be upon you.
So tomorrow is the day. I will inshaallah, officially become one of the Pahang Matriculation College students! I'm quite excited but unsure whether I'm all prepared or not. But the most essential thing to me is the Jihad that I'm taking with me. It's not going to be ended by tomorrow inshaallah. Isn't learning is also a Jihad in Islam? I am hoping that God will guide me and let me through all the hardships successfully. Ameen.

Desires or Nafs.

Assalamualaikum. Peace be upon y'all.
This is going to be a short post, a reminder to myself inshaallah. You know when you have that feeling, when you are badly craving for something. You really want it that you'll feel such a loser if you never get that thing. Well, it happens to me sometimes. That brand new clothes, shoes, smartphones argh man it just makes me desperate to own it. But then again, questions such 'If I die, that things, that 'precious' things, would it benefit me?' and 'If I die, who's gonna inherit my properties?' and 'What shall I bring to my life in the grave and the hereafter?'. It's moved me. I don't know for sure how to answer these questions. I'm clueless. But come to think of it, there's actually a logical response to this. I should hold my desires or nafs back, if I don't, I might swallow myself up. Yeah, I'm not being grateful for what I already have. Shame on me.

Cause life is not just a game, your nafs, your imaan, your aqidah, these things that actually show who you really are. You will die, maybe next year, maybe next month, or maybe it'll be tomorrow. Tomorrow will be the end of your life. And now you know that you're gonna die tomorrow, you have lesser time than you've expected. What are you going to do now? Making taubah, pray to God? Tell me, cause you're weak Sharifah. You are too weak, to hold all of your desires. You have been deceived by this worldly life. Ha-ha serve you right. God has given you time and all the things that you need, and what, is this the right moment to pray? How many days of your life have you wasted for Dunya? Nahh don't answer that. Cause that won't even help you now. What if your life will be ended right after this second? Mashaallah. Say alhamdulillah.

Never lose faith

Assalamualaikum. Peace be upon you.
Sometimes it is hard for you to get back up when you have failed before. And it is even harder when you've unintentionally ruined your second chance. You have no idea what causes you to fail twice. Why is that happening? Because deep in your heart, you know that you really have the ability to pass the test. You deserve it.

But how did I fail? I was so pissed off at that moment that I felt like shooting him ( the JPJ guy ). I was fed up with my result. I could still remember what had happened on that day. It was very frustrating. 'What's your number?' 'Fifty!' 'Ok. Get out of the car, left it there, quickly.' and I was like what are you talking about? What have I done? I was completely surprised. But Alhamdulillah, I passed on my third attempt. Wehuu :)

 I'm just glad that it is finally over. No more extra driving lessons. Yeay! Alhamdulillah. I feel like my prayers have been answered, at last. Alhamdulillah. Maybe there's a reason behind this. I realize that no matter how many times I've failed, I must have faith and try again. Work harder and learn from the mistakes. I ain't giving up.

cause you know how unlucky you'll be