Sunday, February 15, 2015

SPEECH SCIENC UKM / End Of Semester 1

Assalamualaikum.
Peace and blessings be upon all.

   I have always wanted to write the experience that I go through in my life. Every time I decide to post something on my blog, I would hesitate myself. I fear that my uploaded photos will be misused by another person. I just have that fear for now. I hope that this entry will somehow help my juniors in the future. Inshaallah. 


   I intentionally entitled this entry with UKM KL so it is gonna be easy for the juniors to find the information regarding UKM KL aka Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia, Kuala Lumpur. Just to let you know, I hardly find the information needed using the search engine before entering university. I have no idea of what faculty means, anything about university or any knowledge that I have about UKM KL is certainly zero. I get confused between the place where I will have lecture and the place where I'll be staying in. So here we go. There are 3 branches of UKM. I think so. Hahaha. The main (induk) one is in Bangi, the second one is located in Kuala Lumpur and the last one is in Cheras. The place that you ( if you're coming to UKM KL ) will be staying in is Kolej Tun Syed Nasir ( KTSN ). It is like your kolej kediaman lah. Kalau dekat Bangi, banyak lagi kolej yang ada. The faculties that are placed in UKM KL are FSK ( Fakulti Sains Kesihatan ), FGG ( Dentistry ) and F oh my god, saya lupa haha but the third one is Pharmacy. I think I need to explain everything in another entry because I'm not even sure what I'm saying is true or not. Haha. Don't worry, I will post a new entry after finding some valid information inshaallah :)


   My journey has just begun. Speech-Language Pathology was everything that I ever wanted. I never expected that I would get this offer after I got my matric result. I remember there was this uncle who told me that I should change my choices in UPU list since my first-semester's CGPA in matric was only 3.08. I was insulted in front everybody who happened to be there. I felt so intimidated, embarrassed, annoyed, angry and I felt like punching him in his face without thinking the age gap we had o yeah hahaha. He had no courtesy at all or even manners. He even confirmed me that I won't get this offer. You know what I did? Believe me or not, I did nothing. I only stayed silent, holding in my anger. Well, what can I do. Maybe I was being tested by God at that moment. Who knows? Hehe. But I didn't lose hope just because he said that, ya know. Ain't letting people downgrade ya. I believe in God's plans and fate, not him. I know I was being an ass in the first semester back in my matriculation days. To be honest, I only had my last minute preparation for finals. I didn't know to where I had lost my sanity before. I was struggling, studying and while the other students were sleeping silently on their beds. Sanggup tidur-tak-tidur je malam sebelum exam. But in the second-semester, I had changed myself. I attempted to be more focus on my studies. Saya belajar betul-betul. Because that was my intention in the first place, coming to matriculation college. The intention that had been forgotten, The time that had been wasted. Second semester was my payback time. I didn't really care about that uncle's opinion as I knew that I tried my best in the second-semester. Saya tahu apa yang saya kurang, he was not in my shoes. Alhamdulillah, although in the second semester I did not achieve 4 flat but I got a dean list. So summing up the two semester's CGPA, I got around 3 something which was below 3.5. Cakaplah apapun, if it's your rezeki inshaallah you'll get it.  

   I got two interviews for SLP course from UKM and USM and alhamdulillah again I passed both of the interviews. Note : I have no other intention mentioning this. I just wanna remind you guys that nothing is impossible. Whatever happens in the past may affect your future, but when there's some ways to get to what you want, there will be hope and nothing satisfies your hope unless you work for it. Okay saya pun tak tahu saya merepek apa. What I'm trying to say is never ever give up and just continue with your effort, double it for your current obstacles. Usaha selagi jalan yang menuju ke arah kejayaan itu masih dibuka. Teruskan berusaha dengan remaining challenges. Ha, faham tak? Awh I know, I have difficulties when it comes to explaining or describing something. Just so ya know, I'm a visual thinker. Haha alasan.

   Ok. The decision making was way too hard than I thought it would be. Hhm. Yes, I was having a dilemma for quite some time. I did not know of which offer should I accept. I was, I would say I was having a hard time haha. Even though before having interviews, I craved for an education in USM, I decided to choose UKM. Saya pun tak tahu kenapa, but hati saya mahukan UKM. Really, I could feel it in my bones, eceh.
 Reason no. 1 : UKM is the pioneer for this course.
Reason no. 2 :  I just fell in love with UKM and also
the interviewers ( eh ) since hari kejadian lagi. Hehehe.

Nanti lah next entry saya cerita haha. Panjang-panjang takde orang baca pulak kan. Haha.

   At first my mother objected my decision since she thought I could not fit in there and since USM is just less than 30 kilometers far from my house. Hahaha. She had this mindset where her daughter couldn't be independent alone in Kuala Lumpur and I would miss her. I said, "No, I will not miss you. I'll be free instead." HAHAHA Actually, my mom really didn't want me to go to UKM, not because it was no good or anything but just because she was worried of me. It was hard convincing her and believe me or not aha! in the end, I win haha. At last, she understood me. I explained her about UKM and with my number 1 reason I stated just now, she agreed. Hihi. Alhamdulillah.


   I was so excited when I first arrived in here. I was ready to face everything, you name it - the orientation week, the lectures, the quizzes, the mini tests - until one day, I felt like there was a hollow in my heart. I felt empty as though I had no reason to study or to live.


   Anatomy and especially Physiology both were the 'killer' subjects for all the first-year science students. I was dying learning these subjects. I studied and studied, but the results weren't as good as I expected. There was a slight increase in my score for the quizzes but I felt like I just couldn't do it. I had done everything but I was just a stupid girl as if I had reached my limits. (Is it really possible?) I was unmotivated then. I lost my excitement to study at all that I felt like vomiting and got headache reading the books. When your heart refuses to accept what your brain wants to digest, I guess this will happen. I knew I needed to regain my zeal. I did not want to take for granted of what I had gotten at that moment (I managed to come to that level) I wanted to become an SLP someday and I gotta learn for the sake of my future clients. I wanted to help them, but I had to help myself first. Alhamdulillah, I managed to regain it. Hihi.



This is the DECTAR hall located in UKM Bangi.
 The first-year students were brought here for the
closing ceremony of our orientation week. So far,
the UKM's orientation week was the best I ever had.
I admired the way Pemudah Cara (PC)
handled us and it wasn't a nightmare to me.
So far so good! :)



Heading to mini lecture hall at
Klinik Audiologi dan Sains Pertuturan.


Here you go, I even captured Kucing KTSN :p
What can I do, this cat is so cute! Hihihi.


That one morning in KTSN.








Now, it's the first semester for the year of 2014/2015 has just ended. There are countless of happy memories that I've made in KTSN. Hohoho. I just love the scenery, the green grass and the tress. I'm a Naturaphile. It's peaceful in KTSN. It's located right just in front of Taman Tasik Titiwangsa haha :)


Just like my senior reminds me, college is where you learn everything. You need to know how to fit in, to be more matured when making decisions and to be better at time management. I learn that it is not easy to become a leader or to conduct something, but when you know what to do then you will have nothing to worry about. Another thing that I learn is sometimes it is a must for you to confess or find a way to reduce your emotional stress or else it will burden you. It is like carrying a 100kg rock on your back. I thank God for everything. I do hope that you enjoy reading my story. If you have anything to ask, just email me at syafiqahrahim@outlook.com or drop a comment below. Don't worry, I will never harm or eat you hihi. I was once a junior candidate, who was afraid of asking the seniors too hoho. Ask me in Malay pun boleh :)


xoxo

Sunday, January 04, 2015

Light Writing

11:05PM
3rd Jan 2015

Love is a combination of two incomplete halves. I was once bothered with love, thinking when it is the right time that I will be loved back someday and to think how is he gonna look like. That was pretty absurd, I was just a child.

     To be honest, I couldn't express myself through beautiful written confessions and even though I had tried to learn doing it, I would still suck up. Perhaps, that wasn't just me. I did have trouble in expressing myself verbally. It's not that I had some kind of Neurogenic disorders, I just didn't know how to say it through verbal communication effectively so that the message could be clearly sent to people. But I had never thought that the falling part in life would be essential. I am now, able to acknowledge myself better. I learnt to realize that the hard way. To just hold on and waiting are things that would ache myself. It's the pain that you have never understood. Now, I learn to love myself more. More that I could have ever imagine cause the funny thing was I even regretted myself for being a petite girl. I got offended as when strangers insulted me that I'm just a kindergarten student, a school-aged girl. I won't let people messing up with my emotion again.Whatever happens, I won't care. We all have our precious lives. I have mine and all I know is, I am fabulous. I won't let myself be in a bad situation and end up leaving myself unhappy. Healing is a long process baby!
       
          I am now, happy. Feeling grateful that I finally comprehend myself. Success won't come knocking on your door, you gotta get out and quest for it. I want to travel across the globe and to see God's creations before my own eyes. I like books and handmade crafts. I like to sing, to dance, to act, to be healthy and fit, and to do everything I love. I won't go for temporary love, that is just not meant for me. Even if I 'have to' accidentally fall in love with someone, I try to vanish it as soon as in a blink of an eye. Well, maybe not. It is sure gonna be a sweet memory, but I just wish that I will not drawn too much into temporary love, like crush. Or it will crush me into pieces. Hahaha. I'll just wait for my future husband and that is one true love! Hihi. I like meeting new people, but I do get nervous every time I am about to experience my first meeting.Hey, I can't easily presume that they will like me for the first time. I want to meet nice people and I know this may sound like an excuse but believe me, I've been trying to behave myself, to just be myself, the real me. Changing doesn't mean you gotta be new, you just be yourself except that you improve yourself and becoming a better person. 
I am currently studying to achieve one of my dreams. Dreams are not unrealistic, dreams are realistic. You just gotta hold on to it. Believing and having determination burning inside yourself are what makes it comes true ( with God's will ) Sometimes I do feel like giving up, but to think that I have come to this far, I shouldn't let this opportunity flies away. I've been dreaming for this golden chance that to me a little too ambitious before, but hey, I have made it. To dream more, will never make you greedy. I believe that God loves His humble creations to seek success whether in Dunya and Akhira. I like to feel motivated all the time. Even if someone unintentionally ruins my day, I have to enlighten my day back. Chin up, and find my strength back. It has been a while now. Hoping that with my unfailing faith, I will achieve my dreams someday! YEAYYYYY
Hewhew

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Lots of love,
Syafiqah