3rd Jan 2015
Love is a combination of two incomplete halves. I was once bothered with love, thinking when it is the right time that I will be loved back someday and to think how is he gonna look like. That was pretty absurd, I was just a child.
To be honest, I couldn't express myself through beautiful written confessions and even though I had tried to learn doing it, I would still suck up. Perhaps, that wasn't just me. I did have trouble in expressing myself verbally. It's not that I had some kind of Neurogenic disorders, I just didn't know how to say it through verbal communication effectively so that the message could be clearly sent to people. But I had never thought that the falling part in life would be essential. I am now, able to acknowledge myself better. I learnt to realize that the hard way. To just hold on and waiting are things that would ache myself. It's the pain that you have never understood. Now, I learn to love myself more. More that I could have ever imagine cause the funny thing was I even regretted myself for being a petite girl. I got offended as when strangers insulted me that I'm just a kindergarten student, a school-aged girl. I won't let people messing up with my emotion again.Whatever happens, I won't care. We all have our precious lives. I have mine and all I know is, I am fabulous. I won't let myself be in a bad situation and end up leaving myself unhappy. Healing is a long process baby!
I am now, happy. Feeling grateful that I finally comprehend myself. Success won't come knocking on your door, you gotta get out and quest for it. I want to travel across the globe and to see God's creations before my own eyes. I like books and handmade crafts. I like to sing, to dance, to act, to be healthy and fit, and to do everything I love. I won't go for temporary love, that is just not meant for me. Even if I 'have to' accidentally fall in love with someone, I try to vanish it as soon as in a blink of an eye. Well, maybe not. It is sure gonna be a sweet memory, but I just wish that I will not drawn too much into temporary love, like crush. Or it will crush me into pieces. Hahaha. I'll just wait for my future husband and that is one true love! Hihi. I like meeting new people, but I do get nervous every time I am about to experience my first meeting.Hey, I can't easily presume that they will like me for the first time. I want to meet nice people and I know this may sound like an excuse but believe me, I've been trying to behave myself, to just be myself, the real me. Changing doesn't mean you gotta be new, you just be yourself except that you improve yourself and becoming a better person.
Hewhew
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Lots of love,
Syafiqah
