To be honest, I am never the writer that you want me to be. I am bad at describing or explaining a situation or anything at all. It has been months that I have not written a good story (never had any) or my story but tonight I suddenly has this kind of weird feeling. It urges me to write but to be frank, I do not know what I am going to write about. I absolutely have nothing in my mind. I believe that everyone has their own experiences in life that they probably get to write up their stories into something interesting while I am here still clueless about everything. My life so far has been great. A year changes me a lot. Last year was fantastic. I met different people. I must say, they come and go like the weather, the faces change and so does the weather. But hey, here in Malaysia there are never four seasons like the other countries have.
. Malaysia has only a long 'summer' or a cold 'winter' and by that I mean sunny and rainy days. Throughout the year of 2015, I think I have discovered myself a little. I believe so. I think now I kinda know what I really want and what I really believe in. I start to get myself together after quite awhile of being such an introvert. I start to participate and really, just go out there and grab the opportunities. Grabbing opportunities doesn't mean that you try everything that comes ahead of you
but you actually grab the ones you've been looking for and you just want to give it a try. That is my definition of 'grabbing opportunities'.I also have learned that by keeping my dreams to only myself, to me, is a way of making my dreams alive. At least, there's someone out there who still sees me as who I really am and by saying someone, I mean myself.
Below are some of the amazing memories I've made with friends! I've told you I am mingling with people. As a proof, take a look at the photos below!
I have a confession to make. I must admit that I have felt the feeling 'dejavu' before. I had a dream one night and it happened long ago. I remembered myself sitting on something and I believe it was a bench somewhere in a room and I was really there for moment with a group of friends. I could not recall it any clearly but it happened to be like that. This month, on January 2016, my friends and I went out for a dinner and the place wasn't similar in my dream but when I just finished my meal, it suddenly hit me. It was like you're lost for a second and in some way, somehow you just felt strange that 'Hey, this situation happens before.' and like 'I was here.' and 'I'd been through this particular moment'. Somehow, the place where I was looking at, at that particular moment it resembled the corner of the room in my dream. The view was similar, but not exactly or precisely similar but yeah, it felt the same. But it's unfair to think that it's a dejavu when I assume it to be a dejavu. I do not really know what dejavu really feels like and therefore I cannot make a diagnosis about it, just to make sure that I am actually having it and that's what they call a definite finding. I'm not 'googling' the definition of dejavu. I'm just helplessly lazy right now. Also, there is nothing called as dejavu in my belief - Islam. There are only Qada and Qadar. Corret me if I'm wrong brothers and sisters.
Being twenty and becoming twenty-one at the same time is a phase that reminds me of getting older. It's a transitional period from becoming a teenage girl to a young adult. I never feel the same way when I turn eighteen or nineteen. Seventeen, eighteen or nineteen are merely a number for me. Now, it feels so different. A feeling that I believe all grown ups have? Well, I do not know for sure. The number of one now exists after two. I just feel a little bit older now. I feel that I do have to be really independent than before. I know it's kinda weird to say this but I feel the courage and strength from deep within myself. I just can feel it in my bones. My insides are burning with fire. Hahaha I can't believe I'm saying this. All I'm saying is, now I feel like I have to protect myself and my family. I think it's called responsibility. A natural feeling that all grown ups have too, eh? Brilliant! Now, I'm an adult. I do feel the responsibility of telling my newfound friends that I'm an adult because sometimes, certain people just cannot accept the fact that there's actually a twenty-one-year-old soul trapped in a petite human body. I'm kidding.
I hope I will never forget what it feels like to be young and free.
When I was younger, I always wonder why does the adults like to be serious all the times too stern about certain things. I don't like that. I'm not saying that all adults that I've met are behaving like that but some of them are really not cool to me. Now I understand that there are people who don't have choices to make and I can't really blame them. Situations force them. I remember telling myself, or I guess explaining to myself that sometimes the adults get carried away with ageing that they forget how it feels like to enjoy the things they used to enjoy.
That's it for today. I hope you enjoy reading my stories. Like I said, I'm bad at explaining anything. Okay. I appreciate your time :) Have a good day ahead! Till then.
Love,
Carefree muggle-born.
